How To Help Your Friend Shape Up (Without Looking Like A Nag)

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Worried that your friend’s piling on the kg and her health is taking a dive? Neuro Linguistics Life Coach Carl Massy suggests a few ways you can help your friend get into shape for 2014 and still keep your friendship intact



When you start getting results from hitting the gym and eating more healthily, your friends will soon notice how great you look and that you have boundless energy. You will be giving off great vibes without you realising it as your positive attitude will create an electromagnetic field around you that affects other people. You might notice that when positive people walk into a room, the whole energy of the people in the room lifts. So when you change, you automatically affect others around you.



Maybe your friend thinks it’s “just too hard” to do this healthy thing. In this case, you can help by making it easier for them to participate. you can invite them on a bike ride or meet them at a healthy café for lunch.



Your friend might not be able to take advice from you, but they might be happy listening to a PT, life coach or nutritionist. You can point them in the right direction by saying: “Hey, I just met up with this great fitness trainer the other day who is lots of fun and runs some great group fitness classes. Would you like their details?” Or suggest a great blog or newsletter that they can subscribe to, so they are again receiving the information from someone else.



Emotions cause us to act. “I know I should do some exercise” might not drive your pal to go to the gym, but “I have to change my lifestyle or I will end up in hospital in six month’s time” will create a stronger emotion for him or her. Help them find their own emotional trigger.



I have always worked out and eaten healthily, but my partner didn’t bother. She has a crazy fast metabolism that keeps her slim, so she didn’t have a reason to hit the gym. If I told her she ‘should’ exercise, she would have done the opposite for the next 12 months. It was only when she said to me that she didn’t know why she took so long to get over a cold that I told her that physical activity boosts your body’s immune system and helps fight illness that she starting working out. She now sees the benefit and is interested in going for walks, bike rides and going to the occasional yoga session. My partner had to find a reason that worked for her. People need to be in control of their decisions. So while you may help find what motivates them, the reason needs to be their own.


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Carl Massy is a Neuro Linguistics Life Coach. He is the author of The Guide Book To Happiness ( and the CEO of the World’sBIGGESTGym. To find out more about Carl visit



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